My name’s Ms Mary Sue,
You could say I’m somewhat better than you.
My hair is just like flowing gold,
But of course, I’d rather have mould.
My eyes are of the brightest blue,
Because I’m Ms. Mary Sue.

I’m generous, kind, and sickly sweet,
I know all my txt tlk, slang and 1337,
But I speak perfectly, don’t you know,
I’d rather die than utter ‘Yo’.
All the bishounen bill and coo,
Because I’m Ms. Mary Sue.

Wait wait wait! Don’t yell and flame!
It really would be such a shame,
To annoy someone with über powers,
Who could turn you all into a vase of flowers!
But of course I can’t hate, not even you!
Because I’m Ms Mary Sue.

Uh-oh, oh dear, what’s this!
The Mary Sue hater’s bliss!
The ugly, hateful Anti-Sue,
Why don’t the crowd all yell and boo?
I think they re-wrote me! This CANNOT BE TRUE!
It is the death of a Mary-
SPLAT!